Hormones, How you Make Thee Crazy.

Feeling bad? Crappy?

Stomach on strike?

Welcome to Nausea land!

Bleh. Thank goodness for hubster, most of the time.

Hubster has been dealing with me during this entire experience fairly well. For there was that time I snapped at him for not taking out the rubbish, to when I was so frustrated only dogs could understand what I was whimpering about, he has been my rock.

The other day I had the need for warm fuzzy movie so I watched Lilo & Stich.  We both had a good laugh when Stich’s creator, Jumba, was telling his traveling partner, Agent Pleakley,  how he is programed to destroy.  “He will be irresistibly drawn to large cities, where he will back up sewers, reverse street signs, and steal everyone’s left shoe.”  I jokingly laughed how this is what I feel like sometimes.  He on the other hand cocked his head to the side and agreed, “Yup that’s you alright.” – Hubster.   (Something like this…)

So now, every once in a while, when I have a moment, I hear “alright Stich.”  This usually always end in either me laughing, because it is a moment of “Oh, I’m acting completely bonkers” or me crying because, that’s what I do now.

I’m a 5 year old.  When I’m mad – I cry, Scared – I cry, Happy – I cry, frustrated – I cry.

Eg.

• When an asshole car driver decided to cut my husband and I off and stop suddenly with his butt end still in our lane causing the hubster to slam on the brakes and swerve? I screamed, then cried.
• When a woman in a TV show had her baby and the hunky firefighter saved it’s life. – I cryed
• When I’ve been sick with morning sickness for a couple of days and haven’t been able to clean at all and finally walked into the kitchen to find dirty crap everywhere, the trash over flowing and the dishes not done.  I got frustrated – and cried.

See? 5.

So, Thus I am a 5 year old who acts like Stich.

Keep those left shoes hidden,

-The Naked Egg

17dp5dt – Just Keep Swimming…

1,925.    1,925.    1,925.

It Doubled.
This might actually work.

I have been telling myself sine I got the news from the doctors to take deep breaths.  Be excited, but not to excited.

J and I had a discussion this morning about OBGYNs as I hungrily scarfed down 4 whole grain french toast sticks, a yogurt,2 gram cracker goldfish (The chocolate are my favorite!), a pint of skim milk, 4oz of Orange juice and lots of water.  I am STARVING in the mornings.  Seriously, I could probably eat a whole zebra.

I need an OBGYN, desperately. I have for the past 3 years since my move been using the reproductive care unit as the OBGYN for the issues.  I know that my reproductive care unit covers the first 11 weeks.  After that, unless you are a high risk patient, you get discharged to your OBGYN.  Thus the issue.  J referred me to hers, which she says are “Polite, informative and great with children.”

Little know fact,  She told me that when I call them to mention that I have undergone IVF for they do a fetal electrocardiogram on the child once a month.  She quickly followed it up with a “Don’t look so worried, it is a precaution since you are IVF, the fetus has the same chances of developing something as any other baby, they just like to be careful!”  -Thank you J

Now I’m spreading the word to you,  ask your IVF coordinators or OBGYN if they will do fetal electrocardiograms!

J also informed me that they love to be careful about everything.  Blood work every other day, ultra sounds done once a week till week 11, blood pressure, Thyroid hormone level check.

Damn! It makes me wonder, hell, if I didn’t have the issues, I would not be as informed, how do other women go through pregnancy WITHOUT these things?  I understand why they must and I am thankful.  I know lots of things as it is happening and can rest easily knowing they are carefully watching.

Next blood test is scheduled for Friday with potential ultrasound next week!

Here goes nothing!

-The Naked Egg

Breaking the News to my Workmates

16 dp 5 dt

I work on a “team”

On my team there are 5 ladies:

Me, J (From earlier posts who has gone through IVF twice and now has two babies.) Mama B, (My closest family is an 8 hour drive away and so she “adopted me”) P and K.   We have worked together for many years and have grown close.

When I first started this endeavor I confided in J first.  I needed to know how does this work, does the feeling of _____  normal, so on and so forth.  I then confided in Mama B about my situation, well to be honest, the motherly instinct told her something was up in my world and when I finally told her, she gave me that all-knowing smile and told me, well about time you finally told me! HaH   Mother knows best right?   Well P had the same thoughts and we were able to have a lovely conversation about IVF and the adoption of her beautiful children. (My work place seems to have fertility issues.) and last but not least I told K about the process I was going through. (Not as close, but she deals with me regularly enough)

Well, all these lovely ladies knew yesterday was the big TWW day.  And you know what?   NONE of them called, texted, or anything.   Which I was glad for because when I told Mama B first; Oh, What a feeling.  I about started to cry.  We did a dance, hugged and in general only made sounds that we knew what meant.  It was pure and true.  Obviously I still reminded her that it is very early on and that we must be cautiously optimistic, but for the time being, excitement is to be had.

When informing J of the news, “GOOD!  Now you can eat the cookies in the back!” as well as an apprehensive  smile.  Unfortunately all IVFers know how well it can go, and then go so wrong, oh so fast.

K – “Wait,  Now you have to wait 3 months before you can tell anyone?! I’m sorry, but that sucks.”

P – When asking me how it went, and her knowing that it was positive.  She stood up raced around and gave me  huge bear hug.  She about cried and could not stop repeating,  “You’re Pregnant, oh my goodness!”

Now that the only people who know I’m pregnant are: My Husband, the team of ladies, you and my doctors.  I’m hoping for the best.

Tomorrow is my 2nd Beta day to make sure everything is going according to plan.

-The Naked Egg

 

Retrieval Day

“We wanted to let you know that we were able to find 14 sperm to inseminate all 14 of your mature eggs with today. All of the sperm we used for insemination were motile however, most of them had severely abnormal morphology. We will give you an update tomorrow with the number of embryos that fertilized. Please let us know if you have any further questions.”

Maybe it is the hormones.  Maybe it is the WTF WHY?  coming out out but,  If all sperm were severely abnormal in morphology , wouldn’t you want to keep a couple of my mature eggs frozen for possible good sperm?  As the hubster said, Hun, maybe it was the best sperm.  Ah, forever the optimist.

I am frustrated and Mad.   Oh, and I can’t stop crying.  Stupid Hormones!!

 

The Naked egg.